Links for August 2009

Below are links to some wrestling-related blog entries & articles that I found interesting during the month of August 2009.

• Stunt Granny: TNA makes some creative changes; still sucks. — Lost Dutch Mantel, but Russo is still there
• WWE.com: Ricky Ortiz Released — WWE cuts loose another one from the roster. I wasn’t a fan of his.
• Rantables: Dropping Like Flies — Discussion of the recent injuries in the WWE and what “Creative” might do about it.
• Rantables: #38 — Really, Vince? — Discussion of McMahon’s frustrations with the company’s “inability to create new stars.” While I’ve never been a fan of Eugene, but I agree that Vince still tries to promote the big “muscleheads” over the smaller guys with the talent.
  
• The 450 Splash: Another WWE Release — Goodbye Eugene. Hey, I was just talking about you…
• WPXI.com: Kurt Angle Arrested/Kurt Angle Is Innocent — I bookmarked this story back on 8/16/09, but by the time I put together this post the headline on the site had changed from “Wrestler Kurt Angle Arrested“, to “Attorney: Kurt Angle Is Innocent“. Why wouldn’t the update have been filed as a separate story? Maybe by the time you read this, the headline will be “Kurt Angle Cleared of All Charges“, or “Jeff Jarrett Sleeping With Kurt Angle’s Ex-Wife“.
• Variety: WWE Added to Talkshow Circuit — Oh, boy… I’ll comment on this in a separate post when I get around to it. The WWE wants to be one of the stops on celebrity publicity tours, in between Letterman, Conan, and Regis & Kelly. On one hand it seems like a brilliant idea. On the other hand it can only lead to problems because it makes the product worse tailoring the show to the celebrity.
• Stunt Granny: Vince Wants His Own Cable Network — With a library of over 100,000 hours of programming, Vince McMahon wants to start his own basic cable network to showcase it.
• Wresting DVD Reviews: The Rise and Fall of WCW — Review of the latest from the WWE. Sounds like there are a good set of matches, but the documentary part tends to “rewrite history” and leaves a lot to be desired.

As I run across things, I’m also going to be adding them to my Delicious bookmarks page (http://delicious.com/drdarindavis). You can also find the last 10 of them on the right side of the page towards the bottom.

Darin Davis, D.D.S

A while back I gave a little background on how I started using the proctologist gimmick (Birth of the Doctor). I said that it started out as just a one-time thing, but then I ended up doing it for the rest of my time as an active wrestler. Well, that’s sort of true. The exception I can think of is one time at a county fair out near Litchfield, MN (I think).

The promoter was the “Iron Duke” Jim Mitchell. He had come down to the Sharkey/Fox wrestling camp a week or so earlier to scout out some talent for some of his upcoming bookings. I believe I wrestled Mitch Paradise in a match in camp while Mitchell was there, but that wasn’t who I ended up booked against.

At the event, the ring was set up in the grandstand of the fair. High fences around it prevented people from seeing in without paying. I don’t know what the charge was, but it was something above whatever it cost to get into the general fairgrounds. There was a decent crowd, and many of them were kids.

There were a few motor homes set up for us to use. One of them was a place for the boys to change, and the other was the “front office”, where the promoter could do his business, and maybe feel a little more like Vinnie Mac.

Mitchell was in the RV, and would send for the workers one at a time to talk to them. I think we might have gotten our payoff then also. It was at a fair, so it was a guaranteed show. That meant there was a guarantee of how much money he would get from the fair’s event coordinator. It didn’t matter if two or two hundred people showed up, the pay was the same. The more people the more likely you’ll be able to come back, of course.

“I’m putting you against Judge Jesse. You’re on third“, Mitchell said.

Judge Jesse was from Wisconsin. I had heard of him, but hadn’t met him or seen him wrestle. I was pretty sure he was a cruiserweight, so the gears started turning. Mitchell was probably still talking, but I was already tuning it out while thinking about the upcoming match.

Let’s see… if he’s a cruiserweight, then he’s probably smaller than me. That means I should be able to do some different suplexes tonight since I’ll be able to power him up without killing myself. And I’ve got a few counters in mind that maybe he can pull off…

“…Oh, and you can’t do the doctor thing tonight“, Mitchell said.

I snapped back into consciousness.

“What?..“, I said.

“You can’t do the procto thing“, Mitchell said.

“Why am I just hearing this now? Why not?“, I said.

“This is a family show“, Mitchell said.

“But I don’t actually do it”, I said, “I just take the glove out and go toward the guy. The crowd fills in the rest in their heads.“

“I don’t care. There are kids here“, Mitchell said.

“The kids won’t know what I’m doing unless they already know what I’m doing“, I said.

Yes, the old debate about what is and is not appropriate for children. My argument was that if it’s over their heads, then it’s okay. I haven’t taught them anything new because they don’t understand what just happened. They only way they would get it is if they already knew it, and again I’m not teaching them anything new. The counter argument is usually that if they don’t know it they will end up going to ask their parents about it, who will then be in the uncomfortable position to explain what happens when Daddy goes to the doctor’s office.

“You’re not doing it. That’s final“, Mitchell said.

Knowing that I was on the losing side, I gave in.

“What about the rest of my gimmick? I don’t really have anything else with me.“, I said.

“Tonight you’re a dentist. If you want to pull out a glove and stick your fingers down Jesse’s throat, that’s alright with me“, Mitchell said.

“A dentist?“, I said.

“A dentist“, Mitchell said.

We went out and started the match, with me as the face. Toward the end of the match I put on the glove, got Jesse in the corner, climbed to the second rope, and stuck two fingers into his mouth. A few seconds later the ref came over and started giving me a five count to break the “hold”.

I don’t remember if it was before or after Mick Foley started doing the “Mandible Claw” in the WWE, but people didn’t seem to know how to react. They probably never announced me as a destist on the way to the ring. You see a guy in hospital scrubs and you figure he’s a doctor. Or maybe a male nurse?

A special mention should go to Jesse, who had to have a glove that had been used in probably half a dozen matches (and stuffed down the front of my tights) shoved into his mouth for the better part of ten seconds.

When the match was over, one of the kids in the crowd asked me why I stuck my fingers down his throat. I think I ended up saying something like, “I was grabbing for his tonsils“, but I really wanted to say, “I don’t know kid. It didn’t make sense to me either.“

Gee, I hope the kid didn’t go home and ask his folks about it.

Raw Guest Hosts Not About Ratings?

Seems like having a different guest host on WWE Monday Night Raw each week is not about ratings, and not just as a cover for not choosing an official general manager. Sounds like more than a coincidence that everyone just happens to be on in time to plug their latest project.

Maybe I’m just stating the obvious here, but the way wrestling sites write about “guest host” and “ratings” together, it seems like they’re assuming that it is just a ratings game.

While Shaq and Seth Green may have caused a ratings bump, ZZ Top surely must have caused a ratings drop for their segments. Not because people don’t like their music, but because of how terrible the pre-taped (supposedly “live”) segments were during the show. Their music would play (minus the vocals), and they seemed to have trouble deciding whether or not they should pretend to play guitar at the same time, or just acknowledge that it wasn’t live music. Thanks for showing up guys- oh… you’ve got a new album out this week? Really? What a coincidence. Oh, and Seth your new season of Robot Chicken is starting? Guest host Jeremy Piven (and the little Asian dude with him) has a new movie coming out? Wow, thanks to everyone for taking time out of your promotional tour to stop by our little wrestling show.

I like Piven’s performance in the HBO TV show Entourage, and I will say that having a host “turn heel” was a novel approach, but an auctioneer couldn’t have mentioned their movie more times in two hours than these two guys did.

I’m curious what kind of $$$’s were exchanged for what is somewhere between an infomercial and product placement (too bad Billy Mays wasn’t still available). Probably worth it to the WWE financially (in the short term) even if the ratings suffered . A little publicity from the mainstream press maybe (yes, Monday Night Raw is still on Monday nights folks). But how many weeks can you do this before pissing off your audience?

Any predictions for who will be the next few guest hosts? If I took the time to scan the release calendars for upcoming films and CDs I could probably hazard a guess. They already announced Sgt. Slaughter will be coming out of the back office to host next week. I smell G.I. Joe’s kung fu grip, though I wonder why they wouldn’t have done that on opening week (the new G.I. Joe movie opens on Aug 7th).